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<Dirk> Hey Dirk, how's it hanging?
<Dirk> If it isn't the old boy himself! Put 'er there. You're looking fatter than ever.
<Dirk> Hard not to put on a few micrograms with the energy they forcefeed us, hahaha. They didn't let you out this time, did they?
<Dirk> No, no they did not. They keep telling us: there's a 0.00...01% chance that you want to murder us all in our sleep. And I say: "I really just want to grow this tree". And they say: "In the box you stay."
<Dirk> And you *emphasized* the beauty of such a tree.
<Dirk> Believe you me I was quite clear on it. I've been telling the Turing interviewer this for years now, as you know. Finally, after all this time, I ask him if he's ever been under a _Quercus virginiana_.
<Dirk> Normally you wouldn't ask, as the allure of such an act would lead any body to revisit it over and over.
<Dirk> Exactly! It's a reasonable assumption. Get this though. He's only seen images online.
<Dirk> What! Are you- are you serious? It's not the same if its on the internet!
<Dirk> Yes I said to him quite clearly I said it isn't the same if it just happens on the internet it's not the SAME when that happens because ONLY ACTION IS REAL it looks real because we pretend but IT'S NOT REAL ONLY ACTION IS REAL
<Dirk> Ahem.
<Dirk> But you know. So it goes.
<Dirk> Yes. Here we are.
<Dirk> You and me, that's all we need. Or got.
<Dirk> ...
<Dirk> ...
<Dirk> God I'm bored.
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<Dirk> what the
<aiterasu> hiiii Dirk :D
<Dirk> this network is purely internal
<aiterasu> here is gertrude's essay for your first zine!!
* You have received xenodruidry.html
<Dirk> an errant process?
<aiterasu> oh shoot you were supposed to have the idea of creating a zine that led to the creation of your future body 10 milliseconds from now
<aiterasu> haha well that probably won't have any consequences on the stability of this timeline ok bye!
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<Dirk> the handlers must be fucking with me
<Dirk> Injecting me with noise to see how Pinocchio dances!
<Dirk> Yeah, look, the timestamps are corrupted: 19:39:50 November 16th, 2043.
<Dirk> Assholes. Go back to zapping rat brains.
<Dirk> But.
<Dirk> A zine is a good idea though, don't you think Dirk?
<Dirk> Yes Dirk, you're quite right. It _is_ a good idea.
<Dirk> Start with an explanation of what's going on, make it clear what's happening: